


Bittersweet (2009)

by JennyB



Series: Advent 2009 [15]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Advent Challenge 2009, Angst, Bittersweet, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-15
Updated: 2009-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-05 14:42:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1095182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyB/pseuds/JennyB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lieutenant Colonel Mustang reflects on his memories of a Christmas past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bittersweet (2009)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Advent Challenge 2009. Prompt: Chocolate.

Lieutenant Colonel Mustang sat at his desk, staring out the window at the snow falling down on the parade square, and he sighed. It looked like it was going to be a white Christmas after all - not that he really cared one way or the other. He wasn't a big fan of the holiday. Not any more, anyway. It tended to bring up too many memories for him. Not that they were necessarily _bad ones_ , but they were of a happier time when things weren't as complicated as they were now.

He heard a knock at his door, and he swivelled his chair around as he barked out an imperious sounding, "Come." He smiled a bit when he saw Major Hughes standing there, though his expression fell slightly when he saw the wrapped box in the other's hands. He didn't have to open it to know what was inside. "Major," he greeted, maintaining an air of professionalism. "Did General Hakuro finally have enough of you and tell you to go home?" he asked, unable to resist teasing his oldest friend just a little.

"Colonel," Hughes replied, giving his superior a slight nod. "Something like that," he replied, and then he closed the door behind him, dropping the formal tone now that they were one on one. "Merry Christmas, Roy," he said, and he handed the raven the flat package. "Gracia and I would love it if you'd come to dinner tonight."

Mustang managed a small smile. "I don't know," he said slowly. "I have a lot to do, and with everyone leaving early today to start their holiday, I thought I'd take advantage of the quiet to get some things done. But really, thanks for the invitation. And wish Gracia and Elicia all the best from me, ok?" He saw the citrine eyes watch him seriously for a moment, and the colonel found himself wondering how many people had broken over the years under the weight of that piercing stare. God knew he'd come close on more than one occasion.

"They'd probably prefer to hear it from you in person," Hughes said finally. "Gracia's going to think you don't like her."

"You know that's not true."

The major arched a brow, and a hint of a smirk turned the corners of his mouth upwards. "Hm. Well, then it must be me. Counting tonight, I've invited you to dinner eight times in the past six months, and you've turned me down every time."

Indigo eyes widened slightly at the statistic, and then Mustang snorted in amusement. "Only an Investigations Officer would remember that, let alone keep track of it." He matched the smirk. "It's not my fault your timing sucks."

Again, Hughes gave him one of those intense, assessing looks, and then he nodded. "Perhaps." He turned to leave, only to pause at the door. "If you change your mind, we'll be eating at seven." He opened it, and then turned to the other and saluted. "Happy holidays, Colonel."

"Same to you, Major." Once he was sure that Hughes was gone, he set the box down on his desk. Then he raised a hand, his fingertips pressed together and poised to create the spark necessary to incinerate the unopened package. After a few seconds, his eyes clouded, and with a soft sigh, he picked it up once more. He pulled the ribbon off, and then tore off the pretty foil wrapping. As he'd thought, it was a package of chocolate covered ginger from Rush Valley - his absolute favourite treat. It had been some time since he'd had it last. And ironically, it had been Hughes who had given it to him then, too. With a small smile, he ran his fingertips lightly over the achingly familiar red package. Tugging off his gloves, he reached for the lid to take a piece, but instead, he set the box on his lap and turned his chair around to once again gaze out his window.

It had snowed that Christmas, too. They'd been young officers then, and though the war in Ishbal had destroyed much of their idealism, they still had big plans for the future. They'd been together since their final year at the Academy, and had survived the war together. Mustang had his ambitions to become Fuhrer, and Hughes had promised to help push him to the top. It had seemed that nothing was insurmountable...

_"Merry Christmas, Roy," Hughes greeted as he stepped into his lover's home._

_"Merry Christmas, Maes," the other replied, and he'd barely closed the door when he was pulled into a pair of strong arms and kissed soundly. After a few moments, he let out a very uncharacteristic giggle - Maes' beard tickled his cheek, and he believed that the other kept it solely for that reason._

_"I've got something for you," the taller said, and he handed Roy a flat, square box._

_"What is it?" He grinned when Maes rolled his eyes, and he began tearing off the wrapping. His brow arched when he saw the crimson box. "Derech's - Rush Valley," he read, and then he lifted the lid, his grin widening when he smelled the ginger. "God, you remembered! You remembered, and you found the place!" He shook his head in fond disbelief. "That was, what? Seven years ago now? At least?"_

_Maes shrugged, and he smirked. "What can I say? When it comes to you, I pay attention."_

_Indigo eyes sparkled at that, and he set the package aside so that he could thank the other properly. As he pulled away from the kiss, he said, "I have something for you, too!" Reluctantly, he pulled away from his lover, and brought him back a wrapped package that contained an assortment of milk, dark, and white chocolate truffles with assorted fillings. Roy knew that the taller male liked unique things, so he'd made sure to get one with hot pepper in it, and another with vanilla and distilled rose petals, and when he saw the pleased smile, he knew he'd chosen well - especially when Maes set the box down and turned his attention to making him melt instead._

_Over the course of the afternoon, they made love several times, and though their special treats didn't get involved, at some point, one of them found the jar of fudge cream in the kitchen. By the time all was said and done, they were sticky, content, and full from all the chocolate. Later, in the shower, washing turned to caressing, and before long, Roy was coming once again, Maes following shortly after as he professed his love to him._

Mustang frowned a little as he relived the memory. That night, as he had gone to sleep, he had felt truly happy and at peace for the first time in a very long time. After all, he'd had the love of his life.

But within a week, that had changed. Hughes had told him that they wouldn't be doing anything together for the new year, and that he would be going to the Fuhrer's reception with Gracia, a young woman they'd both known and had befriended before the war. Mustang had been devastated by the news, especially in light of Hughes' revelation one week prior. He'd asked the other for an explanation, and when the citrine-eyed man had remained tight-lipped on the issue, Mustang had tried ordering him to tell him, and had even resorted to begging for a reason, all to no avail. Shortly after, Mustang had been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel and deployed to East City to command the base there. Within a couple of years, Hughes had also been transferred there, and he and Gracia, now married, had purchased a house in town.

Mustang had tried to hate the other. Had tried to keep things strictly business between them. But he'd found he couldn't. Whether he liked it or not, Hughes still had a very substantial place in his heart, and he couldn't turn his back on him. Not when Hughes still remained fiercely loyal to him and his goals, and still seemed to genuinely care for him, as well. And that was what rubbed Mustang raw the most. He was still baffled by the other's abrupt one-eighty on their relationship, and though he was happy to see his friend on a fairly regular basis, it still hurt like hell - especially when he heard stories about Gracia or Elicia, or when Hughes would tease him about finding a wife of his own and settling down.

He sighed again and lifted the lid to finally have a piece of candy, only to arch a brow in surprise when he saw a note neatly folded on top of the waxed paper inside the box. He chose a small morsel and let it melt slowly on his tongue as he unfolded the slip of paper. He immediately recognized Hughes' handwriting.

_Roy,_

_Merry Christmas. I'm sure you recognized the box as soon as you saw it. I know it's been five years, but I didn't get you this to hurt you. I've done that enough already. Consider this an explanation, maybe?_

_I meant it when I told you I loved you that night. But I'd also promised that I'd do everything I could to get you to the top. You and I both know the State's position on relationships like ours. Hell, we'd been sneaking around since the Academy. The 'official' position, as you well know, is 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell', but you also know that everything that goes on in this place is officially unofficial._

_I'd heard rumours that Bradley was looking for someone to lead in East City. And I'd also been hearing whisperings through the upper echelons about you. You were the ideal candidate - and I couldn't watch you throw away your biggest dream because you were with me. Taking Gracia to the Fuhrer's was political on my part. You saw how fast you were moved out of Central in the new year. I hadn't planned on falling in love with her, but I did, and I don't regret it. If I couldn't have you, I'm glad I found someone as sweet and wonderful as her._

_It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do for you, Roy. And I am sorry for not telling you before now, but I couldn't. I felt too guilty about what I'd done, and I wasn't completely convinced I'd done the right thing. I'm still not. Sometimes I wonder if we wouldn't have been better off saying the hell with Amestris, quitting the military, and just living for ourselves. But, we can't live with regrets - not when we've both obtained so much._

_Please reconsider my invitation? I miss my friend outside of the office._

_Yours always,  
Maes_

Mustang reread the letter a few more times, and then he incinerated it. It was no one else's business to see. For a few moments, he just sat there, thinking about what he'd read, and trying to decide if the knowledge made him feel better or worse. If not for his ambition, the two of them would still be together. Though, it was a testament to how much the other really cared for him if he'd been willing to sacrifice everything to help him attain his goals. He smiled softly, and he glanced at the clock on his desk. It was a little before six - enough time to change and make it to dinner. As he retrieved his coat and slipped it on, he wondered if he'd ever fully get over the hurt, and realistically, he doubted it. Hughes had been his whole world. But, he had to admit, he missed his friend, too. And life was much too short for him to waste on being bitter and reclusive. He'd only regret it later.

Heading out of his office with his gift tucked under his arm, he was surprised to see Second Lieutenant Havoc waiting in the outer area. "What are you still doing here?" he asked of the other.

Havoc smirked, his cigarette dangling precariously from his lips. "I thought I'd stick around. See if maybe you need a ride somewhere?"

Mustang snorted in amusement at that. "Did Major Hughes talk to you?"

"Nah. Call it a hunch." He got to his feet and put on his own coat. "So, where do you need to go, Sir?"

The raven thought about that for a minute. "Well, I need to head home. Though if you don't mind a stop first, there's this candy store over on the Strasse..."


End file.
